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Bringing healing to family relationships can be one of the most difficult aspects of the spiritual healing process. The reason for this is that we choose to incarnate within our specific families for the purpose of healing and growth, which often challenges us deeply to the core of our being. For many of us it may feel as though healing is exactly the opposite of what we are receiving with our families, as we endure the difficulties and limitations of our relationships with our parents and siblings.
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Before incarnating, we choose families which can bring to the surface specific issues and themes that our soul wishes to explore, learn about and heal. Often these issues are challenging and bring to the surface discomfort that we would prefer go avoid rather than face. Some people deal with this discomfort by placing blame on their parents or the situation they were born into, which provides a temporary outlet for the emotional pain they have experienced,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but ultimately prevents the free flow of love, light and healing in the heart.
Once we have become more conscious of the pain we carry, the next step involves the willingness to let go of our pain. Though on the surface it may seem strange to want to hold onto pain, there are many deep emotions that can become entrenched within us, and wrapped around our sense of self. We unconsciously hold on to the pain,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], because it is all we have ever known. For example, if we are carrying anger,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], hurt or betrayal,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we are asked to forgive and to move on. If we were the victim of abuse or neglect, we are asked to let go of our anger,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and our entitlement to be angry. This part of the process cannot be rushed, which is why it is so important to be willing to feel our emotions fully first. Once this happens, the next step of healing naturally unfolds.
The first step we take is to become conscious of the pain we are carrying. If we have repressed these feelings, they will emerge when we are ready to face them. Sometimes an event such as an illness or a loss can illuminate feelings we have buried or forgotten. Once we become conscious of the pain and allow ourselves to simply feel it, healing can begin. Being with the pain, and bringing it before God is an essential part of the process. In this way we are not alone, as the divine Creator who is All sees, hears and feels with us. This can be done with prayer,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], intention,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], meditation,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], creative expression, or any way that resonates.
As we grow personally and spiritually,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], there comes a time when we are called to release ourselves from the emotional pain we have carried from our childhood. There are steps in this process,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which may taker a shorter or longer time, or which may involve many lifetimes of learning.
Once we have traversed these steps of becoming conscious, feeling our pain, and being willing to let it go, then we are fully available to receive a deep and complete healing. As we voluntarily empty ourselves of those things we've been holding onto, more of God’s love and light can enter our heart,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], mind and body. The pathways of life begin to open up and reveal new directions, new possibilities, and new choices. Our hearts begin to open and love blossoms, forgiveness becomes a way of being, and spiritual awareness awakens within us. These are the gifts that come through healing family relationships, a heart full of love and trust,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], unencumbered by the pain of the past.
By Mashubi Rochell
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First, I want to reference "The You" and what it is specifically and why is it so important. First "The You" is not the physical aspects such as the color of your hair, shape of your nose or body size but the unique spiritual energy we refer to it as your spirit, your soul or essence.

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Many small business owners and website owners think of Internet marketing as nearly synonymous with pay per click advertising. That’s remarkably short-sighted. There’s a lot more to marketing your business online than mounting a PPC campaign,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], though a well-thought-out and well-managed pay-per-click campaign can certainly be an important part of your online marketing. The fact is that a good Internet marketing agency is a PPC agency and far more. These are just a few of the services that any good Internet marketing agency should be able to provide for your business.
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By Georgia Evans
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Today, customers and clients are hard to get but they can be so easy and quick to lose. One small thing could go wrong and maybe you didn't even see it. The next thing you know, or even worse you don't know, and you have lost a high paying client for good.

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according to Central News Agency reported in May 3rd, Chen Shuibian to date Pozaimeishao, but the "transit, transit specifications. The place hasn't been finalized. Allegedly, Taiwan's "presidential palace" will be in May 1st held a press conference, announced the itinerary, Chen Shuibian transit site.
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The Ministry of civil service more miserable, personnel costs and civil service retirement pension is saved, but all the other frozen. Even the cost of utilities in where, don't know.

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The process of change begins with one individual who joins with others on the same path expressed through love. Momentum builds as the vibrations of those individuals connect and move to gather more of the same. That power magnifies through the numbers and the “snowball” of collective energy from the higher vibration of love has the potential to reach around the world and change it. Love is more powerful than fear, and love is what can heal your life, the abundance crisis, our country and world! There is no abundance deficit, so there is no abundance crisis, unless you believe there is.
While much of the reporting of present-day statistics is dismal, some areas are doing fine with their economy. In our country, Texas thrives in spite of what other states are experiencing. Other countries such as Germany and China are flourishing. How so when many others around them are in extreme duress?
Secondly, you have to accept and utilize the attitude of gratitude. Gratitude is a powerful tool for creating anything in your life, for if you begin right where you are, being thankful for all you have and are at this very moment, that feeling can expand into more of the same. Think about it for a minute. Everything you focus on shows up in your life experiences. So if you are focusing on the blessings and abundance you already have, and since energetic vibrations can only bring to you more of the same vibration you have sent out, it should be a no-brainer that beginning with gratitude is a win/win for helping you create more abundance and prosperity.
So instead of buying into the media rampage of debt and subsequent catastrophes, realize we do indeed have major debt issues, but we also have the capability of overcoming that debt with wiser choices and determination. Ask for clarity in your thoughts and focus on the blessings and abundance already present in your life and our country. This is how the shift to a prosperity consciousness can occur. Once the focus is on your blessings and abundance, with gratitude for those blessings,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], various opportunities for changing the way things are done so that the debt can eventually be eliminated will show up. God and the universe always listen to your vibrations and respond according to them, so it is imperative that you shift to a prosperity consciousness if you ever hope to become debt-free, or at least reduce it significantly.
Regardless of what strategies are being used in our country or in foreign countries, one thing must change for abundance to prevail; there must be a shift to a prosperity consciousness. But how is this possible given the present financial crisis and the turmoil it has brought? And do you know what a prosperity consciousness is?
All too often humans tend to focus on what they don’t have,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and their same life scenario continues to show up because that energy is what they are placing out in the universe – where they are focusing their thoughts. This is lack consciousness. Thoughts create, guaranteed! Negative thoughts produce negative experiences while positive thoughts breed positive experiences. This is a no-brainer if you want to develop a prosperity consciousness. You will have to shift your entire thinking patterns and beliefs because most likely, you were taught as most of us were to believe in lack and not enough - limits.
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So our focus on everything around us, and the scare tactics utilized by the media, can easily slip us into lack consciousness. All of the things I mentioned previously in this article are indeed signs of lack, perceived failure and fear. If these occupy our mind on a continual basis,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or even as a part-time focus, we can easily get pulled into this thought mode, a mindset based in fear. Fear is a lower vibration. Since every thought is energy (a vibration) that goes out into the universe and collects more of the same,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it seems we must stop this focus if we ever hope to create abundance in our life again.
Remember that true prosperity incorporates so much more than money. Prosperity includes your talents and internal gifts, and all that you are made of that can contribute to the needs of the world. Prosperity happens whenever something of value expands into more, so it is not limited to material possessions or the dollars in your bank account. And it always involves serving others in some way – contributing to make a difference.
It is impossible to experience expressions of love while being in a place of fear, for they are opposite vibrations and cannot exist simultaneously. You cannot be experiencing anger and frustration while feeling abundant and prosperous; they just cannot work together. This requires a big shift so that the current that runs through you daily vibrates at the higher level of love and its expressions, and in that space you can then step into the mindset of prosperity and abundance.
By Rev. Dr. Carolyn Porter
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Although it has been said that our country and many other countries are experiencing a financial crisis, if you step back and look at the bigger picture, you will see that all this unrest is necessary so that individuals can shift their perception and make changes to a different consciousness. You and I are the ones that must initiate this change because we know the answer and are lightworkers who have the capability of showing others the way through their darkness. Remember, prosperity consciousness has nothing to do with what’s going on around you or what is happening in your life experience, so even if you are temporarily in a place of what appears to be financial chaos, keep your thoughts on what you have and be grateful for it. You may need to learn a lesson before you can experience more prosperity,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or something else must occur before the additional prosperity can manifest. Keep the faith that it is coming and be grateful for the blessings now and in the future.
Our country and our world is experiencing major financial chaos due to overspending and poor management. People are vocal and a relatively high percentage of them are sharing their desire to reduce spending and refrain from raising taxes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], at least until we can get more balance in our economy. People want jobs and better income; it does take money to survive! The news headlines the debt and crisis mentality so it is always on our minds. It seems the government and officials in financial institutions, whose salaries for the most part are not affected by the economic chaos,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], do not see very clearly as to the plight of mainstream America. Perhaps it’s difficult for them to understand given they are not in the middle of the experience as we are.
Now you’re ready to create the vision of what you do want, with the capability of accepting it when it arrives and the determination to see it through to achieve it. Be specific with your vision: the amount of money you’d like to make; the vocation you’d like to do that involves helping others; specific dreams you have like a super vacation or a bigger house; how you can make a difference in our world; becoming debt-free, and so on. If you own your own business you’ll want it to flourish and grow, so see it happening. Create the vision and dream big, and keep it alive by daily seeing and feeling it as if it has already shown up. It is the feeling that makes dreams come alive and manifest into reality. So place your intention of what you want to show up in your life, and then patiently wait for it to come. Be observant and ready for the unexpected, for you never know in what form it may appear – the mysteries of the universe are magnificent and exciting to observe. Use your creativity and determination. Open to receive new ideas,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], for they will come if you keep your vision alive!
Things have changed in recent months and years. We’re all aware of the turmoil and chaos in the real estate market with the devastating amount of foreclosures, loss of both business and residential properties, job loss, income slashing,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], depletion of retirement funds, and so on. I spoke with a chiropractor friend recently who shared that he makes much less money now than he did five years ago, yet he has more patients and works longer hours than he did then. He continued by saying he had to lower his prices or very few could come see him,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], even with insurance. His goal is to help those in need, so he felt he had to do this. Many of us understand this and have done the same thing.
I heard a media commentator use this parallel concerning the apparent thinking of many in leadership positions: You could open an additional credit card so you can use that to pay the minimum payment on the other eight at-limit credit cards you already have. Would you ever do that? How could procuring more credit ever resolve that situation nor solve a debt crisis as we are presently experiencing?
We’re human after all, so it is easy to buy into whatever is being propagated in the media, internet and our environment. I’ve been guilty of doing this as I believe you have too, at least some of the time. Yet we inherently know that by buying into the fear-based lack-consciousness mindset of society, we will be creating more of the same, even though it’s not what we truly want in our life. So have you entered this negative state recently, or are you living in it right now?
They are apparently using different strategies in their economic processes. We know that in Texas they have cut spending in multiple ways and made favorable changes so that businesses keep hiring instead of laying off workers. So you might wonder why the rest of our country doesn’t follow their example and use the proven-to-work strategies in place there to help their states? The economic boost would then filter into our lives and all those around us.
We have only two basic emotions: love or fear. Every feeling we experience arises from one of those emotions. Anything positive - compassion, understanding, abundance,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], happiness, peace, joy, acceptance, determination, creativity, commitment - are all expressions of love. Everything negative – anger, rage, guilt,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], shame, jealousy, lack, anxiety, retaliation, victim, manipulation, scatteredness – all have a base from fear. So in order to step into a prosperity consciousness, you must first begin to operate your life, beginning with your thoughts, from a place of love being expressed.
Change your thoughts and you can change your life!
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A former Yale student, Muryang pondered on the reasons for human existence and life before entering the priesthood. After spending five years in Korea, he became the venerable head of the Los Angeles Dharma Meditation Hall in 1990.

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For those companies that are failing,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and want to change, times are tough, and they don't know where to look for help. They want to move with the times, but are unsure on how exactly to go about it, but at least they are willing to do what it takes to make their business come out of the current recession. So how are business' moving with the times? How are they using the new tools available to market their companies effectively and reap in the rewards? The answer is the internet. It has been around for some time, and some companies will think,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], "hang on we have a website", that doesn't necessarily mean you are using your marketing tools correctly. Firstly you must be experienced in the world of internet marketing to market your website effectively,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and for most offline business owners,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], this isn't the case.
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With today's business world changing so drastically each and every day, people are either failing, or have huge successes. Now these are two very differing areas, and there is a very simple reason behind them which we will now go into. The business' that are failing, are not using all the available marketing tools that are out there, to get their business known, seen and profitable. You simply have to be marketed well as a business,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], otherwise nobody will even know you exist, it's so obvious,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], yet some business owners miss the point. The failing companies aren't moving with the times, some of them aren't accepting the changes, and are therefore feeling the brunt of it,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and they are in denial that the world does change, and they have to change with it to succeed. Those business' that are succeeding of course,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], are the ones that have accepted change,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and applied it to their companies so that they can continue to grow, and reach new audiences.
By Walter Dyer
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The term SEO which stands for Search Engine Optimization, is a process that has the potential to save your business. Optimizing your website for SEO purposes will allow you to reach a red hot targeted audience,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], that will hire your service or company, or buy your products, whatever business you're in. You have to do certain things to your website, so that when somebody types in keywords in search engines related to your company,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], your business turns up first, and people click on it, which makes them a potential client. This is how business' advertise these days, and this is where the business world has moved to. People search online for things these days, not in the newspapers, the modern world of marketing, is now mostly online.
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Oil production went to the Middle East, automobile production went to Japan, and the cracks in America’s manufacturing dominance began to grow by the year. Since that time, U.S. manufacturing has eroded but in total, we still lead the world.

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He also said that diplomats and businesses from other countries, however, Mr.
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By Arthur Levine
See all Articles by Arthur LevineSee Arthur Levine's Expert PageGet Updates on InspirationGet Updates on Arthur Levine Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
It’s a wonder that we live in hope of a better future,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and dream of all the wonderful things we want to do.
It’s a wonder that we can recognize our strength’s and our weaknesses, and distinguish between that which is real, and that which is fantasy.
It’s a wonder that jealousy and avarice, and evil don’t overcome us, and keep us from doing good works, and caring about our fellow man.
It’s a wonder that the political divides of the here and now can be replaced with the harmony of the future, and shared common goals that will hopefully benefit all our people.
It’s a wonder that we have our God given imagination that allows us to invent new possibilities, develop new perspectives, dream new dreams, create new realities,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and see the beauty all around us.
It is a wonder that with all the obstacles we have faced that we have survived and prospered. It must be something in the genes that the founders of our Nation supplied us with. It must be something in the immigrant’s journey to freedom. It must be the good fortune that we have inherited by being God’s children. What ever it is – it is a wonder,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
It’s a wonder that we have the ability to learn, and to verbalize, and to make choices about what we want to do with our lives.
It’s a wonder that with so many different religious beliefs most of us share a common faith in one God.
It’s a wonder that bigotry and prejudice play less and less of a role in our society as enlightenment,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and reason take hold.
It’s a wonder that passion and longing and love can bring us together with our mates and help us raise our own families and create our own immortality through our offspring,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
It’s a wonder that with all the different ethnic groups that make up the mix,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which is our America that we still function as one people with the common interest of protecting our homeland and preserving our freedom at heart.
Please feel free to use this article as long as credit is given to the resource box.
© Copyright Arthur Levine, 2008
Words:
Keywords: Dreams God,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Wonder, Beauty, Reality,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Nation,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Family, Freedom
It’s a wonder.
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It&#8217,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s a wonder that with so many different points of view we still manage to come together to protect our Union.
It’s a wonder that opposite members of the sexes can share a small space, find intimacy, have deep thoughts,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and form a bond that may last forever.
It’s a wonder that with the help of modern medical science we can cure
disease, stay healthier longer, and preserve the quality of our lives.
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The analysis showed that women’s age at marriage, which affects the age of pregnancy, rose from 24.9 years in 1990 to 28.1 in 2007, and women gave birth to an average of 1.26 babies in 2007, down from two in 1980.

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If you want to double your networking results, the first thing to check is to make sure you’re not fishing in the wrong pond! There are hundreds of different networking events and opportunities you could spend your time attending. But, that does not mean that they are necessarily the right crowds for you. Seek first networking groups and events that attract a higher percentage of attendees who do fall in your ideal target market profile. It’s much harder to get the visibility you want in a group that is diluted with too many people who are NOT your target market.
Here’s to Your Networking Success!
The first place people often visit is your website. If you have a website,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], (which everyone should!) make sure to fill it with useful content versus simply filling it with pages of features and benefits. Whether you sell a product or a service there are lots of ways you can educate your target market in the area of what you do for customers. The more you can educate, the more you can build your expertise. Building your expertise is the quickest way to garner their trust and confidence in you and your company.
Often times at business card exchanges and other live networking events, people do have a hard time remembering names to faces. So,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a great way to stay top of mind and in their long term memory is to follow up right away with a video message. This will not only re-engage them with you, but you can go even further and educate them more on what you do and who you help.
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Additionally,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], they can like, share, or retweet your content. Using a service like Hootsuite will save you a lot of time because you can combine all these networks into one and plan out different times you will post a link from your online business. This is a great way to capture the times people are really social on your timeline.
1.) The Entrepreneur Forum of Greater Phila. and
4.) Connect your live networking onto Social Networking
Getting more people to subscribe to your email list allows you to build a relationship with them over time. It allows them to learn more from you and your expertise,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. These are the people that believe in your brand. Sending out freebies or genuinely engaging with the readers helps to build long term revenue from the people on your list both directly and indirectly when they refer you to their contacts.
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Here are 5 key ways to help you double your networking results:
There are great services like AWeber or MailChimp that help to send out messages, newsletters and more to gain more subscribers. These subscribers will usually bite the information you send out and this generates into sales. This way you don’t have to worry about posting every day and keeping engaged with your readers. You can plan ahead of time using tips from others that correlate to your specific business to draw in your loyal leads.
A video site such as YouTube helps to spread your message even faster. Additionally, since people will see you, your brand,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a video and audio – it gives it more authenticity and character because there is a human factor. Keep your eye out for independent directors or people that just want experience. You can get some good work done for a reasonable price. And it will give your business the exposure it needs.
5.) Invite your networks to subscribe to your Email list
1.) Make sure you’re networking with your target market or referral partners
Please share your suggestions on what networking tips have worked well for you below in the comment section or here.
A great way to follow up with your live networking contacts is to invite them to connect with you right away on the social networking sites. Sites like Facebook, Twitter and Linkedin are excellent ways to stay directly in touch with your clientele. You’ll be able to send out daily or weekly messages, useful tips, and really get a read on what type of content they like to see on a regular basis.
Are you frustrated with the results you’ve been seeing from traditional live networking events? Well,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], did you know if you run a strong online campaign that will help you convert more prospects who you meet offline? That way,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the people you do meet face to face at live networking events have many ways to stay connected with you and to learn more about your area of expertise.
People ask me all the time for great networking groups they can get involved in,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. In the Greater Phila area I would highly recommend 2 of the groups I belong to:
3.) Share your video links
2.) Build a great content site
2,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].) Letip
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Now that you’ve committed to spring cleaning, determined the time table and enlisted some help it’s time to prepare for the big event. As you know, before anything else, preparation is the key to success!

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You will need to read the manufacturers instructions before using this type of adhesive in the home.By Andrew Richards See all Articles by Andrew RichardsGet Updates on Business EtiquetteGet Updates on Andrew Richards Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet Tile adhesive is a special kind of glue that is used to fix tiling into place around the home Of course the owner still has to pay for mortgage,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],3 (4 votes) Tweet Realestate can be a very lucrative way of gaining funds. Application hosting service provider offers professional,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], enterprise level security and monitoring free with your organization’s hosting. It is useful to examine the options before investing either. No additional income tax is given to a limited liability company and they are only taxed once. I don’t want to be a wet blanket on anyone’s passions,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
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EVERYBODY has genius EVERYBODY has worth Look for it in others as you would have them look for it in you
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5. PURPOSE of Guilt:
✶ To make us go back to obeying the law or rule we broke.
Being able to feel guilt is a natural & positive thing. It’s built into our psyche, like the ability to love. People who are devoid of guilt are called sociopaths / psychopaths. The issue for most ACoAs is that we feel guilty about things that are not actually bad - like having needs, or emotions !
7. HEALTH: Yes, at the very least, the painful emotion of guilt. But:
✶ This time - the guilt is a SIGNAL that we’re doing something good for ourselves. Since we don’t want to return to obeying the toxic rules, we need to THINK differently about our actions, & say to ourselves:
“This emotion is actually a signal that I’m on the right track - when I’m doing the opposite of what I learned as a child, I’m doing something healthy by NOT obeying a harmful rule, so YEAH!”
6. RESULTs of breaking Family Rules:
✧ Internal Backlash, in the form of - yes, guilt - but also: getting sick, feeling depressed, heightened anxiety, panic attacks, being irritable...
✧ External Backlash - possibly from family, if you’re in contact with them, since they want you to ‘stick to the plan’ & not abandon them by being different. Also from friends, bosses, mates, even children - for the same reason - they’re used to you the ‘old’ way & don’t want to make any changes in themselves to accommodate our growth! OK, so WHAT IF we
● identify the TOXIC family rules we’ve internalized
● decide that obeying those rules actually prevents our recovery process
● that in order to heal & grow, we have to stop obeying those rules
--------What should we expect,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
EXAMPLES: We feel guilty for
■ not making our parents, friends, lovers, children... happy
■ making anyone angry at us, no matter what the reason
■ not being able to stop someone from drinking, drugging, or doing other self-destructive things
■ standing up for our rights, needs, tastes... (we think it’s selfish & that we’re being confrontational)
■ getting sick,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], being tired,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], not wanting to do something...
■ taking time for ourselves, needing down time, taking a vacation
■ not knowing something or taking a long time to learn things (we have so many ‘shoulds’)
■ having need, desires, our own opinions, likes & dislikes
■ not being smarter, more sociable,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], more successful, more outgoing...
✶ If we continue to dis-obey toxic rules, the guilt will eventually diminish & perhaps even go away completely. So,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it’s imperative that we tolerate this kind of guilt and other kinds of unpleasant reactions,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], in the short term, & continue thinking & acting in self-esteeming / self-empowering ways, even in the face of opposition.
✶ Because this process is stressful, we need the right kinds of supportive people in our life, to encourage, correct confusing thoughts, reinforce our resolve & laud our progress. A long as the support is positive, it can come from anywhere - clergy, healthy family members, friends, therapy, books, internet,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], 12-step meetings, rehab for co-dependence, spiritual disciplines...
✶ When we repeat new,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], healthy actions, we form new pathways in the brain which then make it easier & more natural to be comfortable & successful in all aspects of our lives.
By Donna M Torbico
See all Articles by Donna TorbicoSee Donna Torbico's Expert PageGet Updates on Abuse and RecoveryGet Updates on Donna Torbico Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
Author's Bio:
Q: Now, when you feel guilty, do you know which family rule you’re breaking?
Guilt is not a primary emotion, like anger, joy, sadness... But it is one of the most intense & often-felt emotions by ACoAs. It is a familiar companion of negative self-talk & to actions we believe to be bad, but may not be.
Guilt is connected to self-hate: since our default position is that we’re intrinsically bad, anything & everything that goes wrong for us is OUR FAULT. This leads to perfectionism - the obsession about being soooo good,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], without flaws - that we’ll finally be loved, accepted, understood... BY WHOM? Of course - our family --- & then everyone else in the whole world !
(This self-hate assumption is never supposed to be questioned & is very hard to give up,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], even when we ‘know better’ - because it makes us feel less vulnerable, a little more powerful! After all, if “it’s my fault, then it’s in my control - so I can fix it, change something in me or in the other person - to make it all better”!)
SO:
1. Guilt is an emotion - generated by ↩
2. breaking a law or rule - of ↩
3. society, government, religion, community, school or family.
4. What category of rules do we most often break, when we’re feeling guilty? FAMILT RULES! (Expl: “If you don’t like it you have to stay!”)
Therefore - guilt is caused by any thought or action which disobeys the rules we internalized as kids. Guilt is about what we DO.
IMPORTANT to remember:
• we don’t have to consciously agree with the rule - but the WIC has to believe it applies to it, no matter how much we may hate it or intellectually know better.
• most ACoAs don’t even realize we’ve absorbed those toxic rules &amp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; are
automatically obeying them (pg. 22 vs pg. 65) - but we can tell by our life patterns. They’re things we do over & over, automatically.
✶ If the family rules were healthy, we would be doing positive, self-esteeming things,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], most of the time.
✶ If the rules are unhealthy, we act on them in ways which hurt ourselves and others, on a regular basis.
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Are you ready for real love? In this day and age of fast-paced and short-lived relationships, it’s challenging and many times difficult, to find good, solid, effective, and useful, information that helps to build healthy and long-lasting romantic relationships.